Love Hurts
by DarkDemonKanji
Summary: The Yu Yu Hakusho boys have a new assignment... to catch three troublesome dark demons who have been breaking into Spirit World computer systems! However, when the boys finally capture the demons, Koenma decideds it would be a good idea for the boys to lo


Love Hurts  
  
By: DarkDemonKanji  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho, bla, bla bla. (Although I DO own Kifah, Yusume, and Kanji, he he he.) I am not making money off of this, I am merely doing this for my own personal entertainment. ^.^ But then again, don't we all! ^.^   
  
-Links to pictures of Yusume, Kanji, and Kifah will be up soon so you can see what they look like, YAY!-   
  
Chapter 1  
  
"Yusume, this looks interesting."  
  
"Okay sis, it'll be open in a minute," Yusume whispered, calmly walking right through the door in front of her, and disappearing.   
  
"Koenma sir, what exactly are you hungry for?" Kanji quickly jumped behind a nearby pillar.   
  
"Koenma… hmm," Kanji thought to herself, instantly morphing into Koenma, and emerging from behind the pillar.   
  
"Koenma sir… what are you doing out here?" the ogre questioned.   
  
"Man, this short, scrawny little body stinks," Kanji thought to herself. "Just taking a little scroll, what's your excuse? I thought I told you to fetch me some food!" Kanji imitated, fooling the ogre completely, who ran off in the direction of the kitchen. "How DOES this little dude talk with this stupid thing in his mouth?" Kanji grumbled, her voice changing from Koenma's to her own as she morphed. Yusume popped open the door and Kanji immediately jumped inside. "So what kind of control room does this stupid building have?" Kanji grumbled, plopping into a swivel seat next to Yusume.   
  
"It's got all sorts of interesting stuff in here Kanji," Yusume replied, sliding the keyboard over to Kanji. Kanji cracked her fingers and resumed to her daily task of hacking into the Spirit World's computers.   
  
"They really need to protect their files better, cracking this stuff is easy. Let's see… what demon shall we read about today?" Kanji talked over to Yusume.  
  
"Look up some criminals Kanji, their lives are much more interesting to read about," Yusume squealed, leaning closer to the computer screen. Kanji, with the press of an enter key, revealed all of Spirit World's now and former criminals. Kanji preceded to scroll down the screen and stare at the various names. "How about the Hiei dude?" Yusume questioned, pointing to his name on the screen.   
  
"That's a stupid name, pick another one Yusume."   
  
"Hmm… Kurama?" Yusume offered.   
  
"If you say so Yusume." Kanji clicked Kurama's name and in the blink of an eye, revealed the entire spirit's life and personal information, along with a picture. "Hey, he's a cutie," Kanji said aloud, scrolling past his picture.   
  
"It says here he stole some mirror artifact thing to save his mom's life. He's making up for it by going on missions assigned by Koenma. That doesn't sound like much of a criminal to me Kanji." Kanji continued to stare at Kurama's picture. She remembered him from somewhere, but she couldn't quite put her finger on it.   
  
"That's it!" Kanji cried, jumping from her seat. "He's the little brat who caught me breaking into some stupid mortal government agency computer system. He got me locked into jail for that!"   
  
"You got out the same day though," Yusume interrupted. "Remember? Kifah and I got you out."   
  
"Yeah, but it's the principle of the thing Yusume." Yusume looked over at Kanji with a confused expression.   
  
"I did get the files, plus that Russian guy let me keep the money for just hacking into a simple US government place and printing out the files," Kanji remembered aloud. "But that's no excuse for him to turn me in like that!"   
  
"Kanji, he was ordered by Koenma, he had no choice," Yusume started.   
  
"Yeah, well, Koenma can kiss my shape shifting butt! Come on Yusume, I have revenge to up hold!" Kanji cried, storming out of the control room.   
  
"Hehehehehe," Kifah giggled to herself, crouching on top of a dresser in Koenma's study. "It's about time I find a sucker to steal a meal from, and that jumbo super sub looks pretty good." Kifah thought to herself, licking her fangs and disappearing in a cloud of black smoke.   
  
"Koenma, here is your lunch sir," the ogre offered, placing an extremely large plate in front of Koenma, who licked his lips.   
  
"This looks delicious ogre. It's about time we have some good food around here for a change," Koenma thanked, then stared over at the ogre who was about to bite into his sub as well.   
  
"What's wrong sir? Don't you like your sub?" the ogre questioned, watching as Koenma looked from his sub, to the one he himself was holding and about to eat.   
  
"Yours is bigger ogre," Koenma replied with a grumble. The ogre almost fell over from surprise, boy was his master spoiled.   
  
"Sir, they are exactly the same size!" the ogre cried, throwing his hands up in the air.  
  
"They are not! I want yours," Koenma mumbled, grabbing the ogre's sub and switching it with his own.   
  
"If you say so sir," the ogre said, staring at his newly acquired sub. The ogre was just about to bite into his sub when it disappeared in a cloud of black smoke and the ogre ended up biting his own hand. "Ah! My sub, it disappeared!" The ogre exclaimed, looking around to see where his sub could have possibly have gone.  
  
"Don't be ridiculous ogre, you're imaging things," Koenma assured, about to bite into his sub, when it disappeared in a puff of black smoke as well. "Ogre! Why did you take my sub you pig?!" Koenma shouted over the ogre, who waved his hands in innocence.   
  
"I seriously don't know what in the world happened to your food sir!"  
  
"I do," Kifah giggled, suddenly appearing on the table right in front of Koenma. "I must admit, these subs are delicious," Kifah said, taking a huge bite of one of the subs in her left hand.   
  
"You!" Koenma screamed. "I'll get you!" Koenma dove across the table but Kifah once again disappeared in a cloud of smoke. "That's it!" Koenma cried, slamming his fists on the table. I'm hiring someone to catch this band of troublesome broads!"  
  
"Now you listen up Yusuke, you too Hiei, Kurama, Kuwabara," Koenma commanded. "You're assignment is to catch THIS group of gals," Koenma said, holding up a group picture of Yusume, Kanji, and Kifah, who were all grinning and holding up peace signs.   
  
"They don't seem all that bad. Besides, pretty girls can't be very strong anyhow…" Yusuke started, grabbing and staring at the picture of Koenma's. Kurama leaned over the group to take a good look at the picture, his eyes slowly getting bigger.   
  
"Yusuke," Kurama warned. "These women, in fact, are very powerful. I'd watch your back."   
  
"Come on Kurama, they don't look very intimating," Kuwabara laughed, pointing at the picture of the three girls.   
  
"This just proves how dim-witted you are," Hiei grumbled. ""You have no idea what powers they have."   
  
"Hiei is right," Kurama agreed, getting Yusuke's and Kuwabara's attention.   
  
"Now listen up," Koenma coached. "The two older ones are in their later teens, while the little one is around 11. Plus, they're demons, so they look much smarter than you think."  
  
"Hmm, older women, I like that," Yusuke joked, poking Kuwabara in the side with his elbow.   
  
"This is NOT the time Yusuke," Koenma scolded. "Now the tall red head here has the name of Kanji," Koenma said, pointing to Kanji on the picture. "She has the power of morphing into anyone she pleases, so look out. She just morphed and impersonated me earlier this morning," Koenma instructed, looking over at the ogre, embarrassed that the ogre fell for it. "However, she can only impersonate them. She doesn't obtain their powers."  
  
"Yes, she also is extremely intelligent. Kanji can break into any computer system she pleases without any real effort, so she can already know all our personal information. She isn't much of a fighter though, so once we catch her it'll be easy. Just the catching part will seem a challenge," Kurama warned, getting the attention from the others.   
  
"How do you know all this?" Yusuke questioned. "You dated her or something Kurama?" Yusuke joked, making Kurama blush.   
  
"No, I was assigned to catch her when she was caught breaking into the United States government. I caught her and got her placed in jail, however, she broke out the same day, so I'm afraid she now despises me."  
  
"Yeah, I don't think I'd be very happy with someone who put me in jail either…" Kuwabara trailed off.   
  
"Now, the little redhead is her sister, Yusume," Koenma continued. "She has the power to walk through any object, even you, so you'll have some trouble trying to catch her. However, she can't walk through glass. That might give you some ideas. The girl with the Hiei hair is Kifah." Everyone looked from the picture of Kifah, to Hiei.   
  
"You related to her or something?" Yusuke asked Hiei, who crossed his arms across his chest in annoyance.   
  
"I have never seen her before in my life," Hiei replied with a grumble.  
  
"Kifah has the power of teleportation. She can travel from one place to another in the blink of an eye, leaving behind a cloud of black smoke. Kifah can only travel to and from places that are a mile apart, so distance is on your side. I want her the most, she stole my sub this morning!" Koenma cried, slapping his hands on the table. "We've gotten word that all three are in this building, so hop to it and catch these girls!" Koenma ordered, pointing his finger to the door of his office.   
  
"Okay, let's split up and trying searching for each one of them at the same time," Yusuke suggested. "Hiei and me will go after the one that teleports, since she will seem the hardest. Kurama, you can go after the tall red head since you know her and Kuwabara, you can go after the little scrawny one that walks through walls."  
  
"Hey! How come I get the little one?" Kuwabara cried in resentment.   
  
"Because YOU are a imbecile," Hiei cracked in return.   
  
"Why you little punk, I'll…." Kuwabara shouted, staring down at a grinning Hiei.   
  
"I don't need a partner. I can take this girl on my own," Hiei mumbled as he walked down the opposite direction of the hallway. "Like it will even take much effort…" Hiei grumbled to himself.  
  
"I could just punch him in the face… he's lucky I have the ability to contain my anger…" Kuwabara gripped.   
  
"Come on big guy, I'll accompany you with your target," Yusuke giggled, slapping a frowning Kuwabara on the back.   
  
"What dimwits," Kanji muttered, peeking through the hole in the door of the main hallway elevator.   
  
"I think they're cool dimwits…" Kifah trailed off, looking up at the elevator wall.   
  
"Hello, I'm over here Kifah," Kanji waved her hand in front of Kifah's face, which stood concentrated on the elevator wall.   
  
"Ladybug…" Kifah mumbled off into the distance, completely ignoring Kanji and pointing a finger at the wall with a dazed expression.   
  
"Kifah! You aren't… drunk… are you?" Kanji asked with a gasp. "You can't help me capture Kurama hostage if you're not sober!" Kanji cried, throwing her arms up in the air.   
  
"What's sober mean?" Yusume looked over at Kifah with a confused expression.   
  
"Nothing… it means, nothing," Kanji started, still getting a troubled expression from her sister. "Um, I'll tell you when you're 21 Yusume."   
  
"Oh, okay then. I'll go spy some more." Yusume said with a perk, peeping once more through the elevator hole.   
  
"I'm not drunk…" Kifah finally replied. "When I was teleporting in the elevator to meet you guys, I sorta hit my head on the wall. I'm still seeing those cute little birdies…"  
  
"Oh… my… gosh…" Kanji said, slapping her hand on her forehead.   
  
"Hey, I see Kurama! I see Kurama. Let me get him!" Yusume shouted, running through the door of the elevator.   
  
"Wait Yusume!" Kanji shouted, pushing the button to the elevator door and jumping out, leaving Kifah to stare at her wall.   
  
"I see Kurama! I see Kurama!" Yusume screamed, jumping up and down, attracting the attention of Kurama, Yusuke, and Kuwabara.   
  
"Is that the girl we're supposed to catch?" Yusuke whispered over to Kuwabara.   
  
"I think so…" Kuwabara replied with uncertain. Kanji came running up to join Yusume.   
  
"I didn't say for you to RUN out of the elevator Yusume! That was NOT part of the plan!" Kanji screamed, jumping up and down in frustration. Kurama looked at Kanji with a frightened expression.   
  
"YOU!" Kanji shouted as she finally spotted Kurama, his eyes getting bigger. Kanji reared up and tackled Kurama, sending his flying across the hallway. "I hate you!" Kanji cried, pinning a shocked and paralyzed Kurama to the floor.   
  
"Get him sis!" Yusume cheered, pumping her fist into the air.   
  
"Oh, someone needs some anger management," Yusuke whispered over to Kuwabara, who shook his head in agreement. "Hey missy, we know you have some grudges and everything against our friend here, but you don't have to act psycho over a little thing like putting you in jail for a day… right? Now we have orders to capture…" Yusuke stopped when Kanji lowered her eyebrows in a death glare directed right at him.   
  
"My business is NOT yours little man," Kanji snickered, still keeping a stunned Kurama pinned to the floor.   
  
"Little man?!" Yusuke cried. Kanji suddenly started morphing, and to much surprise, into Yusuke, her grin morphing to Yusuke's as her entire body changed to an exact copy of his.   
  
"No Kurama, you know I don't want to hold a grudge or anything against you…" the morphed Kanji trailed off in the sexiest voice she could… with Yusuke's body. Kurama became even more traumatized when he looked up to see Yusuke pinned over him and whispering in his ear. Yusuke stared blankly as another him practically flirted on top of a pinned Kurama.   
  
"Ha! That looks so wrong!" Kuwabara wailed, bursting into complete laughter and rolling along the floor. "Oh, that is HILARIOUS!" Kanji looked over at the laughing Kuwabara and instantly morphed into him. Kurama immediately struggled under the weight. He did NOT want to pinned down and be touched upon by any guy, but especially not Kuwabara. The REAL Kuwabara instantly stopped laughed, and stared as another him acted in a way he would never.  
  
"Change back now!" Kuwabara screamed, jumping up from the floor. "I am NOT like that!" Yusuke looked over at Kuwabara, and then the one pinning Kurama, and immediately exploded into laughter.   
  
"Now THAT looks wrong!" Yusuke cried, laughing so hard tears formed on the side of his eyes. Yusume watched excitedly as her sister made this group of guys look like complete idiots. Kurama tried to lift himself up under the fake Kuwabara's weight but to no avail.   
  
"Now hold on big guy, I didn't give you permission to leave now," Kanji would have normally said with a smooth, sexy voice, but it seemed a little wrong coming on with Kuwabara's. Kurama tightly closed his eyes to avoid the worst situation he had ever had in his life.  
  
Yusume cautiously walked up to Kuwabara and poked him with her index finger. Kuwabara looked down in annoyance.   
  
"What do you want little kid?"   
  
"Ahhh!" Yusume screamed once she caught a good look at Kuwabara's face. "Evil tall man!" Yusume cried, running down the hallway and disappearing through a wall. Kanji couldn't help it, but ruptured into laughter and fell off of Kurama, who immediately burst into a run down the hallway.  
  
"Kurama, wait!" Yusuke called, running after a terrified Kurama.   
  
"He he, I'm the evil tall man," a morphed Kanji, still imitating Kuwabara laughed, running down the hallway after Kurama.  
  
"That's it! That chic is asking for it!" Kuwabara yelped, running after Kanji.   
  
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Hiei calmly walked down the hallway, looking cautiously in all directions for signs of movement. Kifah watched silently, perched in the upper rafters of the ceiling. Hiei suddenly turned around and shot a glare towards the ceiling but spotted nothing. Kifah stood directly in front of Hiei, her hands on her hips, waiting for him to turn around.   
  
"You are incredibly slow, you know that?" Kifah perked, causing Hiei to jump around and face her.   
  
"How did you get down here so fast?!" Hiei demanded, and then lowered his voice once he remembered what Koenma had told him. Hiei silently cursed to himself for forgetting that this girl could teleport.   
  
  
  
"I thought you'd be enough of an expert fighter to detect my moves, Hiei," Kifah smirked, tapping her foot against the floor.   
  
"It's all cheap tricks. I know all about you Kifah, how you teleport to cover up for your poor fighting skills," Hiei grinned, lowering his eyebrows and clenching his fists at his sides.  
  
"Would you like to test my poor fighting skills?" Kifah smiled, putting her arms up in defense and widening her stance.   
  
"Happy to," Hiei replied, pulling the sword at his side out of its sheath.  
  
"Well take this!" Kifah cried, raising her index finger and rather unmercifully poking Hiei hard in his open Jagan eye.   
  
"Ah, why you little hussy! That was my Jagan!" Hiei yelped, clutching his eye in pain and shouting some rather obscene phrases. Kifah just laughed and teleported behind Hiei, grabbing his cape and pulling it completely off before Hiei could react. Hiei stood shocked. Not only was his third eye in extreme pain, and his cape wrapped around some strange woman, but he had also failed to sense the entire thing. "Ha! Nice cape my friend! I think I'll just 'borrow' this for awhile…" Kifah laughed in hysteria, teleporting away to join her comrades.  
  
"…Give me back my cape! I loath you, you know that!?! Do you know who I am?! I am Hiei, the most feared demon in all of Spirit World!!" Hiei screamed, waving his sword in the air.   
  
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"Come back here you traitor, it's useless to run!" Kuwabara cried, chasing after Kanji, who was now back in her own body. Kuwabara's was a chore to try and sprint with.   
  
"Stop right there!" Yusuke yelled, a few feet in front of Kuwabara, but still a couple yards behind Kanji. Kanji immediately stopped, and turned around, causing Yusuke to skid to a halt in front of her. "Ah, I see we are giving up," Yusuke grinned. "Now just put your hands in the air and…" Yusuke cut short, realizing Kanji was beginning to laugh. Yusuke looked behind Kanji's shoulder to see Kifah whispering something into Kanji's ear.   
  
"No kidding? You just hauled off and poked Hiei in the eye? Ha! That's funny!" Kanji giggled, playfully punching a smiling Kifah in the shoulder.   
  
"Hey! I was trying to…. You poked Hiei in the eye? Are you nuts?" Yusuke asked, forgetting what he was about to say. Kifah excitingly nodded her head.   
  
"HA HA HA HA HA!" Kuwabara cried, falling to the floor in hysteria. "He SO deserved that for a long time!"  
  
"Be quiet or you'll get one too," Kifah smiled deviously. Kuwabara immediately stopped laughing and jumped to his feet.   
  
"Isn't that Hiei's cape?" Yusuke wondered aloud, pointing a finger towards Kifah, who had managed to wrap Hiei's cape around her shoulders.   
  
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Kurama hid quietly behind an open door in the hallway in which the others were congregating. He stared at the large bottle of chloroform in his right hand. Kurama knew using chloroform was a bit harsh, even unfair and a tad bit sneaky, but it was the only way to catch those girls. Besides, how can you catch a girl who can teleport, and a girl who can walk through walls? It seemed a bit complicated to him. I'll go for Kifah first, Kurama thought to himself. Kurama suddenly turned around to see a fuming Hiei, who snatched the chloroform from his hand, grabbed a handkerchief out of his pocket, snapped open the chloroform bottle, and drenched the handkerchief in the chloroform. Kurama watched as Hiei maliciously stormed out of the room and onto the hallway, practically appearing behind an oblivious Kifah. Kifah turned around just in time for Hiei to grab her around the neck and force the handkerchief over her mouth. In seconds Kifah was out, and unconscious on the floor. Kanji and the others looked on in shock as Hiei triumphantly crossed his arms across chest.   
  
"You imbecile! You killed her!" Kanji shrieked, running over to Hiei in order to break his neck, or burst a vital nerve, or something…  
  
"I didn't kill her!" Hiei shouted in return. "Chloroform doesn't kill you, it just knocks you out!"   
  
"Oh, I see…" Kanji replied, staring down at Kifah and suddenly realizing a little too late. "Wait a minute…" Kurama immediately took this as his cue and sprinted out the doorway and down the hall. Kanji turned around to see Kurama and burst into a run in the opposite direction.   
  
"Hold on there, we didn't give you permission to leave," Yusuke said, intersecting Kanji's path and forcing her into the corner of the hallway where she found herself trapped.   
  
"Wait, this isn't fair, it's three against one!" Kanji cried as Kuwabara pinned her against the wall and Kurama draped a drench chloroform towel over her mouth. Like Kifah, Kanji immediately fell unconscious to the floor.  
  
"Well I feel much better now," Hiei sighed, walking over to Kifah and annoyingly snapping his cape off of her.   
  
"What about the little one?" Kuwabara questioned, looking around in the hallway for any possible directions in which Yusume might have taken.   
  
"I've already taken care of her," Hiei calmly replied, walking into a room and emerging with a couple feet of rope.   
  
"Already? Where is she?" Yusuke asked. He must have knocked her out with that chloroform stuff too, Yusuke answered for himself. Hiei pointed over his shoulder, behind him into the room he just came from. Kuwabara could hear faint bangs coming from somewhere. He, Kurama, and Yusuke wondered into the room, and found themselves in an installed bathroom, where Yusume was held captive in the fiberglass shower, banging on the door.   
  
"Let me out or you'll regret it!!" Yusume screamed, continuing to bang on the door, which Hiei managed to pin shut by pushing a dresser up against it.   
  
"Before you ask, it's a fiberglass shower, and she can't get through glass," Hiei stated, walking up beside the others, specifically looking up at Kuwabara, whom it seemed like the entire statement was directed towards.   
  
"I knew that…" Kuwabara snapped back. "Of course, by first glance, anyone would know that was fiberglass," Kuwabara bloated, raising his hand directed towards the shower in a fashion that seemed like he knew what he was saying.   
  
"Come on, I need you to help me drag the other two in here so we can lock the door and inform Koenma," Hiei demanded, walking into the hallway, without waiting for anyone to follow, or even respond.   
  
"Wow, Hiei is certainly on the ball day isn't he?" Kurama declared, taking one last look at a helpless Yusume. Kurama felt quite sorrow for her. Yusume had never been captured before, well, as long as Kurama could figure.   
  
"I think Hiei's just mad because he got poked in the eye by Kifah," Yusuke replied, following Kurama and Kuwabara into the hallway.  
  
"Hiei got poked in the eye?" Kurama questioned, refusing to believe any one of these girls would have enough guts to poke Hiei in the eye. Kurama later found himself striking that thought, all three girls wouldn't think twice about doing something like that if they were provoked. Kurama, however, felt a little uneasy over the whole situation. The chloroform would keep Kanji and Kifah knocked out for quite a bit, but even then the chloroform wouldn't last forever. The girls would have to wake up sometime. And THAT was what Kurama was worried about. 


End file.
